All i need is everything

I write this from the perspective of 80-95 hour work weeks, far too little sleep, limited opportunities to eat, and a sore throat I can't seem to shake. My personal life and body have been ravaged by my semi-forced but mostly chosen dedication to my early medical training. I've lost a lot this year.

I've also recently gotten a string of praise for my work from several attending physicians, nurses, and the resident I'd most like to emulate. I know I have a ton of room for growth but these compliments are hard won and paid for with things I once held dear.

I've finally settled into the profound fatigue of internship with only fleeting thoughts of the distant light at the end of the tunnel. Although I've grown used to most of the hardest parts and increasingly view my position as one of great privilege (Oh, how much I get to grow, learn, and DO for others this year!), internship has been a remarkably brutal hazing and initiation into the world of medicine.

The good news is that on each new day I'm a more resilient person and a more capable physician for facing the many challenges internship brings. I find myself hoping that the next 6 months will be at least as transformative even if the process hurts a whole lot at times.

My heart swells with the realization that this is as much as I could ask from my internship experience. I feel humbled and privileged to be responsible for doing the best I can do for my patients. There's plenty of grace to be had here. Today, at least, I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

"All I Need is Everything" - Over the Rhine (click play on site to stream)