I'm a nurse, too, you know. I worked in a hospital for a while...and if she falls, I WILL sue you!
Patient in heart failure with urine drug screen positive for cocaine: They use the table at my apartment to bag [the cocaine]. I was cleaning around the table so I was exposed -- I DIDN'T SMOKE IT!
Same patient in HF: I ran out of food so I was making soup with a chicken bone and salt.
Me: Did you run out of food because you didn't make it to the store [b/c you were high on crack] or because you didn't have the money?
PIH: Because I ran out of money! You gonna give me some?
Paranoid patient: You're just trying to drag this out to keep me from going home right now!
Me: Sir, that is absolutely not the case.
PP (yelling): Well I think it is!
Me: I have been awake for the past 34 hours -- believe me, I want this to be over as much as you do.
PP: Oh.
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1 comments:
Ugh. People like the first one make me mad. Second person, I feel bad for them, but know that they will gladly do anything for their next fix, so not too bad. :) The third was just funny to me as I pictured a patient cowed by your awesomeness. Go MG! Stick it to em! :)
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