Got my forty & my muscle mag

My good friend Rob visited earlier this week to belatedly celebrate my birthday. Rob & I have been friends for 13 years. He's seen me at my best, my worst, & everything in between -- and he still likes me. Now that's true friendship. If he ever stops liking me it'll hurt more than the harshest dumping by any boyfriend.

Rob brought his two Italian greyhounds (a.k.a. "Smelly Dogs") and we test drove cars. I wanted to go to the local inflatable amusement park but conceded that test driving cars is more important given my current tenuous ride status. That said, if anyone wants to send me a giant (16-foot?) trampoline or inflatable creation I've got just the place to put it.

Rob also brought me a heartfelt birthday gift: 40-oz of malt liquor, Jeff Foxworthy beef jerky ("So good you'll want to eat it naked...but don't."), and the latest issue of Muscle & Fitness, all wrapped up in a classy plastic Safeway bag. Then Rob outdid himself by adding a cd of Fiddler on the Roof show tunes. Clearly, Rob knows me better than I know myself.

Back story: I've never drunk 40 oz of anything in one sitting, I don't eat meat, and my arms are HUGE from all the OMM I do at the office -- the guy in the above photo doesn't compare, really. And much to Rob's chagrin, I adamantly hated musicals (a.k.a. "bad music & thin plot united") until a couple of months ago when I played Rob's arm candy at a Nashville production of Fiddler on the Roof, a musical that is apparently universally hated by musical aficionados. Of course, I totally loved it and laughed my ass off during much of the show.

So there you have it folks, one of the best birthday gifts ever. If you're like me and basically retarded when it comes to choosing the perfect gift for your loved ones, consider adopting Rob's can't-lose-combo as your own.