Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?

"Life is a long lesson in humility."
--James Barrie

I've had a hell of a week for someone living what amounts to a pretty low-stress, fortunate life. My classmates and I spent a fantastic Sunday down the shore with one of our favorite professors and his wife. I managed to get about 5 hours of passed-out-dead sleep before crawling to an 8 a.m. small group session on Monday morning. So I started exam week exhausted as well as behind.

I've been so distractible lately that the big positive gain for the week was that I improved my ability to focus on school. Otherwise, my week was a textbook case of Murphy's law at work. If something could go wrong, it did. I won't bore you with all of the details. I studied. Or I should say I did my best to study.

By the time Friday rolled around, I felt awful, and a good night's sleep didn't make it better. I spent a long weekend sleeping & soul-searching & feeling like I couldn't share my feelings with anyone -- in medicine weakness is discouraged. My friend C., a wise(-kid) 3rd year med student with whom I've had exactly two phone conversations, called me out of the blue Sunday night and somehow made me feel a lot better when I thought I couldn't. I owe him one. He did, however, point out how old I'm getting ("Wait, are you that old? You're pushing 30? Wow, you're a hottie, that's great!"). Um, yeah, thanks C. I'm considering throwing in the towel and then you go and remind me I'm getting old. If you didn't do such a great job making me feel better I'd be pretty pissed off!

Anyway, I hate to advertise my own weakness (I can fall apart in the privacy of my own home, and then put myself back together again before anyone misses me, thanks) so I hope no one I know reads this. In this field we really are judged when we exhibit human traits (empathy aside), even though it seems no human can escape 7 or more years of medical training, not to mention a lifelong career, entirely unscathed. Sadly, students who have significant issues that don't quickly resolve are really S.O.L. I get the sense that practicing physicians are even more lacking in professional support when they encounter personal problems that may interfere with their work.

This experience reminds me that more than ever I need to seek out experiences and friends outside the medical field. I need somewhere to go the next time things in medicine start to look a little bleak. How do people find new friends when they move to a new place?

The New Pornographers--The End of Medicine (mp3) off of Electric Version (buy)